Pelgris

I go to sleep now, to dream of the woman who abandoned me. Who left me standing at the roadside without a word. She left as everyone leaves me. I’m not even angry. Leaving me seems as natural as breathing. No I’m not angry. I’m disappointed. I’m sad. Wracked with terrible sadness. But not mad. I love her still. How stupid, how fucked up to love someone who walked away without a word. As if I were trash. Maybe I am. A throwaway heart. Used to make one feel better until bored or something better comes along. For a long time, I didn’t open my heart to anyone. But at least I knew in my bones that if Morgan had had a choice she would have chosen me. Maybe she was it. The only one who could love me. No one else seems to, at least for any length of time.