Pelgris

I’m tired of writing about my heart broken, about loneliness and desire unrequited.  Even more tired of experiencing it.  Anyone who tells you it is better to have loved and lost is a liar.  Better to not know loves perfect ache than to miss its presence.  But having felt it I cannot make the choice to live light or to delude myself that I’m not looking and so be caught unawares.  What people mean when they say something happens when you stop looking.  I’ll never stop looking but I’ll also never stop wishing I knew how. I wish I knew what I am doing wrong, what I’m doing right? Are the right people in my past or does the future hold a chance? Should I step sideways, walk away from this world and on to the next? Have the chances of this world so thinned that another would suit better.  I am uncertain.