I don’t understand the current need to be friends before you start dating. I’m willing to concede this may be just my experience but it always seems to be “I just really want to be friends then we’ll see.” Is this some kind of stalling tactic? Do they think, “He wants to date me which means he wants to fuck me?”
Now my body may want sexual release and I probably find you physically attractive but that has little bearing on sex, at least to me. When I’m dating you, I’m getting to know you, of course I want your friendship. That is a part of it.
But I also get to be romantic. I get to take you out. I get to hang out with you. Friends I see when circumstances and convenience allow. Dating, I arrange the circumstance. We work together to have the time.
I suppose my perspective may be askew. I do NOT have sex unless I am in love. Some levels of Bdsm play perhaps, but even there I’ll want an emotional escalation at some point. And some more intimate types of play will be off the table.
Bottom line, if you seem interesting then I may want to date you. If you don’t want the romantic nonsexual stuff just say so. But if so, actual friendship with me is years, literally years away. I take my friendships seriously. They are the family I choose.
Maybe, I’m just an odd duck.
Pelgris 