The portrayal of BDSM is broken

Why is BDSM presented as a thing of violence?
I don’t understand that. It has never been my experience that I felt violent. I’ve felt control. Like a violin string stretched taught and vibrating with tension. But it’s a tension not waiting for violence, but for action. Yes, sometimes that action is one of force. Of the infliction of pain. But never against the desire of my partner. My treasure. My submissive.

Submission is an act of trust and love. Dominance is an act of trust and love. That it presents as violence is gross misrepresentation. The feeling I have when my submissive says Yes Sir. Or just uses my name, if in public. That feeling has nothing to do with violence. Yes, it’s ownership. But they own me equally. They give me their submission. A greater gift cannot be made. I give them my control and bend my every action to make them safe and joyous. Whatever form that joy and desire takes.

BDSM is NOT violence. If it ever is, then it is abuse.

I cannot emphasize that enough. It makes me feel sick to think that people are hurting others in the guise of BDSM. Even when it’s just play and not lifestyle, it is still based on trust and pleasure and consent.

It drives me crazy.

5 thoughts on “The portrayal of BDSM is broken

    • Pelgris April 10, 2020 / 5:21 pm

      Yes. I guess I just miss seeing a positive portrayal more often. That echo of seeing a person who is like you in media is a powerful feeling of acceptance. I’ve experienced for other things but this, the thing most core to my self, remains elusive.

      Liked by 1 person

      • HeartsHope April 10, 2020 / 6:47 pm

        I am not sure we will ever have positive media presence, there are too many Conservatives who think they are doing good work by oppressing the choices of others. They see bdsm, kink, etc. as being immoral and it is their duty to force everyone to live in their idea of what is ‘right’. Christian Grey is as close as we are going to get to a positive perception of bdsm.

        Like

        • Pelgris April 10, 2020 / 7:01 pm

          I’d go with the Grey from Secretary, but I take your meaning. Though other groups have thought the same. And time has marched on

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Empress Hexe and The Emperor April 19, 2020 / 3:13 am

    It’s sad there’s so much misunderstanding about BDSM. It boils down to unhealthy extrapolations from media, and beliefs about how kink is a symbol of dysfunction. Very annoying

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.