Selfish or just human?

I know that I am fundamentally selfish. I see things first through the lens of how it will effect me or of what I want or hope for. I don’t think that is a problem as long as I am aware of it and take steps to compensate for it. But I can’t help but think that, when I see something that might be effecting someone I love, that I hope that’s not why they are interested in me. And on reflection, really only that. The feeling that I might be being used in a way that is beneficial primarily for them while I languish in emotional half states never knowing if a more equitable possibility is on the horizon or if this almost but not quite is all there is.

I think in terms of my self for a slight moment or two before I move that over and think, if they are really going through something, how can I help?

I hope that is the more important part. That despite a reaction of selfish thoughts, I ultimately move to say and act in support.

2 thoughts on “Selfish or just human?

    • That’s a hard question to answer. I’m not about to do anything harmful to myself. I’m alive and moving forward. Just not content. Not happy. And I am sad alot. And I cry for seemingly no reason other than thinking about my emotional state hurts and causes a painful lump in my throat. So I guess no, no I’m not OK.

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