I feel like, nothing
Just numb
I knew we were paused
No, I hoped we were paused
I tried to go on living as if nothing had happened
As I said I would
But I couldn’t
Couldn’t let her go
Couldn’t not think about her
Until, I sent her a message.
Honestly I sent her several but the first one was too much and the second was me acknowledging that
But the third, the third was simple
“I miss you”
I didn’t expect anything back
But I couldn’t just let her go
And the reply,
Don’t miss her. How could I not?
I don’t want to miss her. I want to be with her. But, I don’t think that is what she means.
And I want to just feel something, other than
Just numb
But I don’t know how
Maybe tomorrow

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