Lost in my thinking

You ever wonder why your friends are your friends?  It generally starts with shared interests, then shared memories, then shared secrets.  But what holds those friendships together? What happens when those shared interest wain?  When Life events start to, inevitably, pull you from similar paths. when secrets are out in the open? What is left but a shared past and a desire not to be alone. How tenuous it all seems. How fleeting.   You step from day to day.  Maybe looking forward to something, the next book in a series, the next album.  We fill our lives with such trivia. Our friends are still there, living their lives.  You remember them, and maybe talk to them occasionally but your lives are no longer intermingled.  Not day to day. Holidays, birthdays.  Remind yourself to stop and chat. forget. You’ll have tomorrow. Day by day, drifting apart but fooling yourself into believing they are still a part of your life.  Because you need them there, occupying that headspace. Just another piece of the social tapestry, the illusion of our lives. I could make the case that you should call them now;  reconnect.  But really, if you were going to do that, you would be doing it.  No impetus from me would be necessary. So the decision time comes. To maintain the social fiction, OK but not happy.  Ok but saddened. Broken and not mending; Or to forge new friends, to share your life with.  Easier said than done. Perhaps there is a third choice, but the only one I see is death. For me, a solution I often see first. Maybe you know what the third choice is? I just can’t see it.

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